Surviving A Survival Horror

Surviving A Survival Horror Game
1. Don't worry about weapons, people have left them everywhere for you including gun with ammo, explosives and even medieval weaponry! And if worse comes to worse there will always be a loose lead pipe or plank of wood to defend yourself with!

2. Your most important item is your flashlight. It can sometimes deter what is chasing you and if you turn it off it probably wont even see you. But if you turn it off you wont be able to see a damn thing despite ambient light. Flashlights are you best friend and they rarely run out of battery life. Cameras are also really good but only against vengeful spirits.

3. Despite living a normal life and growing up rather normal you'll discover your actually descended from some weird family or cult that now really needs you now! These people are the ones chasing you and instead of just telling you about it you'll discover their plotting along the way with clues in places they really shouldn't be.

4. The people in the town/palace/house/place your in right now are all really bored jerks that have made all these series of puzzles just to annoy you. They hide their passwords and number codes in really weird places , but because YOUR the protagonist you can figure them out easy. And instead of keys being in safes or lock boxes they are in sewer drains , unopened cans, or even dead bodies. Hope your not squeamish!

5. Its not important to fight off the things chasing you, for they don't matter and as soon as you enter a different area {IE another door or room} they forget all about you and cannot open the door anyway.

6. Don't worry about eating anything either! You can live on health drinks or junk food. Or just shoot up some drugs way better for you.

7. Don't worry bout the bathroom either. Unless you wanna hide or are sticking your hand in the toilet. Because the key you need the most right now some one threw in the toilet!

8. If you see another human being chances are they aren't really gonna help you and are involved with the reason your being hunted down and chased in the first place! All they are gonna do is tell you some cryptic message as to why your here or how to solve an obscure puzzle down the road. They might even give you that key or item your were looking for but will only lead you closer to the bad guy/guys.

9. If there is a police officer and you find them they really wont be much help if any. You'll probably see them killed or find their corpse later. They never can call for backup so why bother?

10. Animals are way more helpful then humans. If you find a normal looking dog, take the little guy with you everywhere! Hes gonna find things you need or maybe even kick more ass then your weapons ever could!

11. There are literally hundreds of cars around you but you gotta walk. You cant or don't think to hot wire them and if by some chance you get a car, you cant get very far. There is not a lot of gas and plus all the road are blocked off remember?

12. All in all after your nightmare is over you'll go back to having a normal happy life, not at all emotionally or physically scarred by any of this! But your offspring,family, and/or anyone you know will have to deal with this later but what do you care, not your problem anymore!